My Explaination

Almost everyday I asked myself why did I ended like this? What is wrong with me? Or what will I be heading on? But,I wont find those explaination. Even closely.
I am 23 years. A stage which i believed a common puzzle feeling stopped by and rest in my mind.I have a lot of this feeling lately.About work,sex,man,woman,workmates,office,home,
money,future,friendship,dream and most oof this i rank it as very sensation to my desires.
Because I think much. And the most is my work. Did I do a right job for future holds me? Did I find out the true? Its much horrible rather than to seek a soulmate.Is there a different between them.Sure.But why wasn't I feel a right one now.To consider satisfied.
At glance I look on my table, I rememberized on how I feel at first time I was been interviewed. I still can feel the feeling on how ambitious I am about my future.Iwas totally prepare 110% to heading on more over the table. I was lucky to have the feeling at that time and I found much lucky they granted me.Despite that, I am also believes that my feeling was true.
Now,I dont know where the feeling goes by. I feel half-empty and sad. Is it because of paid,energy,burn out,or what ever reason. One reason I scared most in my industry was I could been known by him or his mate which may reveals my identity. The most sacry for my part to triggers in lifes,is my sin. My soul sin. My mistake.
And I believes I should go. Far from this. I hope I find my destination cos I am toot ired to stop at anywhere station. I prayed for fullest happiness in love and life. Regards to my devoteness on Him. Ameen.