Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dah..

Dah pukul 3 pagi.
Dah lama dar x tidur lewat2 mcm ni.
Dah siap mop lantai 3 kali pon depan ruang tamu.
Dah juga siap minum air milo 2 kotak.
Dah dapat pun panggilan dia.
Dah call mak juga tadi, tp x dapat cakap-mak dalam bilik air.
Dah plan untuk esok pagi,tp ntah bangun ke tidak awal ni.
Dah karoeke gak dalam you tube.
Dah basuh baju juga.
.....semua ni buat malam sabtu, biar betul? Mana semangat aku dapat pun tak tahu.
Normally, aku akan duk main game malam sabtu or baru jer balik dr hanging out.
So, dah kira ok ar tu. Dah ar..nak tidur.
Dah lama x update blog.....apa darr. =(

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Heartbreak

I was so hopeless when I found
I was the last choice
I was so damp feel so bad
When I knew it along the way
I feel you cheated on me
I feel you was not be true
It's hurt me...mmmmh
It's hurt me...mmmmh

So when there is nothing to say
So when there is nothing to me
I will just say I need to go
For live and love others
I want just go heartbreak


There is time of course
I do remember you,but i will strong
There is time I need to hate you
but I will just let it go
Letting u out of my mind
I will go heartbreak
I will go heartbreak

Friday, August 13, 2010

4 rules a Guy Should Know

In one love relationship, what is a guy words or actions is all about what will the girl takes on you more. She may just adapt u on beggining but then turn off when you may not realizes you just break her rules. Therefore 4 rules-a guy should know when he is in relationship :


1) Be a G-Spot
Hopefully it is not a 'g-spot' you may have in your mind now,but a guy-spot. Either you spotted her, or you are among a guy groups to be spot on. This rule applies almost in all girl. Why not?
Said to her-'she is different among the girl you have found'. Honestly,she does not care at all what categories different it was-either good or bad. What she wants all is - you had spot her. And when you spot her,means to her-she is on your mind. Thats all she need to checked. Girl loves attraction and more confession she will do in return. So from now on, keep spot her new shoes,her new makeup ways,her bad word on someone or family, or her bad ideas to turn on you.

2) Be Original
Well, she knows Shakespears had died away long past time ago and she do not need another copy. Eventhough she may look alike as a sport girl, but then she knows all about Shakespears. So please don't copy any love quotes or love word to make her melt on you. Make your own brand of love quotes to her. To be true, how lovely the words, to be fair on her-she will just then concludes -'All man is same'. So you actually do not earn any credit for that. Because when you are a copy-it means to her you are a potential lier or a player. Unless you do it in a right way. There is a time when she will know those word are original from you-she will tell you. But different thing she will not tell when she knows you are not being original. She will just keep you on eyes only. So be wise just be original and tell her as dummies way you are falling for her. Thats much better when dummies thing look awsome.

3) Be True
Definately,true and honesty is what lies in relationship. How true you are to her is most important matter rather than how well compromise you may with her. Why so?
Well compromise make both feel comprise. Well true does not offer that. One may feel surpress
or depress when true is reveal. Right? So, Be true. Admit everything to her what in your mind has. Said-Yes she turn you on, yes she hot, yes she getting fat with all cheese cake, yes she need diet,yes she is not invited. Some saying say girl dont like heard the true-well it applies to some jerks only. Those jerk who said true is just to throw rubbish word. But you are her man, she wants true from you so she can be true in return.

4) Be a Jury
Yes Jury not a Judges. What jury does is listen, collecting evidence and listen again after thinking carefully. How smart and mature you are? When only you can listen to her, she define you are mature. When you can listen and talk. You look look more smart to suit her. Thats all. Girls do not like when you too much judge on her appeal on you. Instead saying of 'I know you hot' or 'I know you like sex' please more rephrase it ' Do u feel hot as me' or 'Does sex make you crazy more with me'. Listen guys-Putting words more nicely on her will gives you more credit.

Thats all. May this rules applies helps you. Good luck. =)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Doctor who can draw.


Hi...I have not updated this blog for long time due to my busiest on health problem.

I went to doctor today and checked my BP. She draw some kind like this pic to illustrates to me how was about having a hypertension. Im kind of ..em ok..You explaning too good for me, but not a drawing. Hehe. She advised me to take a medical/treatment asap. But i defensed with my explanation about pills and my life terminology. But then who care after all .

I then went to my regular doctor I took my medication-I tell my doctor-maybe I will having a medical checked up.I dont want to failed again due to this illness. She gives me same medication I took before-which is I has taken but not follow up with her-I know Im not impress her anymore on any changes. But again who care after all. Huhu.

Then I need to revert back to her on this thursday again. Well what I need doc.is do you have any magic pills to make this illness lost. I know its impossible. So what.

Many thing happen for having no reason. Thats magic.

Well what about wat happen me now...- Rashes all body - huhu. =( Not magic. Wil updated why was that. Seeing ya. Bye

Sunday, July 25, 2010

NO CHORUS-where's the line?

Lately, I loved to do something 'new' or something is 'different' -something that I'm not into it before. Sex? Oh no. It's not.-Even sometimes I do think it once. Haha.
I don't know suddenly I fall into karoake. I even can go alone by myself into the box music and keep it good as I wish. I went to Ampang Point,KL-meeting my friend who ask for my help on her assignment. Waiting her comes, I decided to sang 3 songs. And can you guess what the song is it through my riddle heres-Only three (3).

This morning when I woke up I realized something left behind on my 'dream'. I remmeber my sche with my friend.The day was raining lively, and I can see smiling day ahead. There is just like three bird on a window telling me-I dont need to worry. What should I. I am a sunshine today.
I then crossed over some group of sinner just like me. I really like doe without an enemies. It's just only you and what you want to be. I got say (all I need) for my ahppy ending. And its feels like when you told me that you loves me. Flown away and splitting it up on mind. But its not blows -only screwed up. No chorus for a lifes ups and down. And if you all want to know what is all about this-its just all about a day I liked very much.

(Haha if only someone knew this- slighly just a metaphora in my life)

Inception


Last Friday. Me and my unpected neighbourhood a.k.a co-worker having unexpected plan to watch this film. We set it up on 9 pm till almost 12.3o pm after we had dinner - What we call it a healthy food 'Sushi'. Yea. A salmon sushi and udon beef for me.

We had it on nice table with good set up in Sasake Sushi. That was my first time being there-in Leisure Mall Outlet-Cheras. (In Malaysia-for those international reader) =p.

I will like to conclude it as all precisely as good day - as I am more better with this unplanned activity. I much like the film pretty well than my mates -haha. who keep comment when the film should end. I like it much. Thanks for the time being I have and I feel so warm-No tension.


Smiles.

Monday, May 24, 2010

She resigned finale.

Well..on my way to back home, i try to switch on the phone eventhough the battery is crying for charging. I got one message...firstly-i thought from someone i used before to call me on net.
But it was my colleuge, and the text sound not good. I know she is resigned on this week. But boss doesn't has any clue yet,and i was just thinking the idea for her to work as an part time is a bet deal. But later on, I believes its hard for a admin exec to working as part time. Well thinking about a phone you has to make,a proposal you need to follow up,a quotation you need to fax and done it up,and also a not your job to seen, all this is unforseen when the idea is brought up. Wel, how come an admin can work fror 3-4 hours on that..bet she's online somemore. Shut up on that.
Just deal the work .Ok,fine...but I dotn know my boss is setting up his boat much more earlier. I dont know what is it all baout...when I get the text from her...Sound like this..
...S..Boss has ask me to resigned more earlier...and I will return all the things and also soem claim to you next week...not this week....cause...im in hospital...and the phone..is block...;
Whatever it is....i hope she's fine..and what she do in hospital..i guess her husband ... and now...im thinking,.why so cruel...who...guess what.
Then im thinking what I will be facing on next on..starting tomorrow...=(. Boss too hurdle...Work need to done before June up...and Multitasker is a second issue here.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Sometimes...

Sometimes....
I dont know......why I was with him....
Sometimes.....
I dont know....why he like to hurt me....
Sometimes...
I hope he's not with me now.....
Sometimes...
He's making me much more bad than good....
Sometimes...
Its make me feel to loose it...
Sometimes...
People just like that........why? Why love and so on need to be so hurtled.?
Sometimes..
I wish to be somewhere place where I can see some love for me. Its enough maybe
than in having a relationship like this. =(.

Am I not happy..? I think it is.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Its just cannot be....that....

I dont know how can I get attached back to him. Yesterday and before yesterday-we chat. I dont know what should I do. Sometimes I think, the way its not like before. I cant feel him more. I just feel lonely but not for him. Maybe, my heart has closed again for a man. I dont know. But what the most sad for me now,is I cant feel anything. If I do feel, its was only a guilty feeling I had done to everyone. Sometimes I wish I could turn all my time, from my younger ages. There are many mistake I wish to corrected.All is just not fine for me now. Totally, I am feeling down now. Not more love,not more success,not a friend or a foe. Not even a salary more,not even anyone or family,not also a work,and boss, and also money. Its just ME.Yes it's me.
I think I has LOST.Many times in a 'mean' line.
Now...I wanna tell what was it.

First-Love. After I break up/dump him politely, what I just wish is only a friend relationship maybe I am not ready to loose him completely. Because, its already my routine to chat with him everyday and smile to him in cam. So, I do it slowly. But I never wish to give a chance. Well, I cant fall in love back when I am hurt. But, I need him as friend. Did I do wrong? Or I has wrong perception? In my situation,maybe YES. As long time I wish, I just want all not happen as what had happen to us. But its already happen, and I wish I can forget it. But its not easy.
He claimed to me,he will died,he sick,he admitted to hospital,a doctor call me,i assume a friend, all this is just sometime a 'shit story' I dont wish to heard. Its also a scary part. A moment guilty.
Or maybe he used this situation to stipulates me comes back to him. He knows, after all.
But what turn me off was my feeling has not like before. I think I LOVE him but I Hates him too.
LOVE as a foes, Hates like a friend. I never wish I can knew him...before. I wish I was not here now a day.This moment was so struggle dead meat for me. Because I has a feeling he want me for a moment he think he will died,who know next he is the killer. Yet,I still doubt everyone not him,mine too. I cant love him forever. Do he will read this? I gives him a sign . Many time.
But I never see he jump his site. He's only jumping on me. Fuck Him. Or Fuck me.
What I wanna do is just waiting he dump me. Until he obey that maybe we r not. Not in a line anyways. I dont know what will I be through.
But. I believes myself even I has doubt. I believes myself more than anyone. I know, that time is no longer for me to playin this. I know,I should stop. Listening to my song our song, tears down, its was just a part,of life sucks. But, remmeber those back, it was just gives me stronger and stronger than me, I should conquered myself beyond anyone dream or wish on me.
I should become more power in beneath live to HIM ,my God,my pray than a human lust.
I know, or I dont know. but One things must be clear, I am just NOT HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE DONE. AND I NEED TO REPENT AND I NEED TO RETURN ALL.

WHATS MY NEXT STEP.............

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I miss Him..

Honestly after all what has happen,
tonite my eyes tears down when I heard our song. My songs.
I am keen to know does he think me,remember me, do i too much.
Instantly I dont want to call him, but I recall how was my said at first.
I should not do this, I should let it go. Believes dear S, I know....I can forget you.

But why I cant it now....believe S, you can do it. Take time, Have pleasure, I feel like want to fuck him now. Im so bad. Don't know why I used it old time. I mean it. I wanna kiss him and hug.

Then I took breath ,slowly I take all guts and eat the words. Slowly slowly....LET IT OVER S.
Whatever, you will never forget whatever things or person you loves,cares, everything was a part. Its a part of life, we cannot be apart from it. Just take and remains its on clog, gives a cuddle smile. This part is so hard.

I pray to God make us believes and make I confident on this. Just through a day without him now. And just let it be...let it go.....you the best of the best . You can handle this, your cry is true pure, so no need sad, just its a happy feeling, thats make me cry. Then, believes God, He always with you and you will find your ways to love. Amin.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Back to the future

This is my huge favouratisme movies if I wish I can watch again. Not only for the future but also to the past. But I refer this post title with my entry as back to my roomies again. As roomies just like my future. Can I represent that yet ..... or too fast to believes.
I just get back home and I see my room are all dirt and smashing around like a couch potato. So tired to clean the mess up-not to mess, for me it is.
He is waiting...i want to go to bath. a while a minute before said anything.

Gotcha!=p

Monday, April 12, 2010

Heart is never to be for 'The One'.

I read one article regarding how will you overcome on issue 'The One'. It is just a myths what was our suconcious mind picture to us. Like he is The One for ever after.
Fact,there is more than one of 'The One'. I also feel this true.

I cought him cheating on me many times. And today I believes to stop all this fake relationship.
He is not 'The One, even he tries to recite it from Matrix film. This time is present for the future,rather than what is past. I really don't know why guy keep doing good cheat on a girl he claimed he's in love. I wish I dont have to know it sometimes,but I accepted for some reason.

This should be my second broke up-I hope its much more better easier and earnest than before I been dumped. I wont let he feels like I do feel before. I will more be politely.

Because I treasure his love,and I wont hate him. I just want my life back as normal.

I very dispensable when someone lying to me, and flirt with other girl at a same time he hang with me. I dont know what wrong of him or me.

The most bad things is to love someone not loving us and letting us dreaming,than to lovings someone who said its over at beginning.

And, I gives my time thoughts. For sure, after doing some researched. I waited him so much for ready to confront and to tell its all over. For us.

What I hopes most is he got what he really want into and I got what it really has to come by.

Then I belives I wont be too much sad. As I did my best on him on every ways.

I am a just a fat girl-I want my day comes under blues everyday and each day.
Blossom grows on my present for future,while past is just a pathway I had through for not returning.

Because I am tired and at a same time I am happy I just has been home again.

Amin,

Sunday, March 28, 2010

My friend wedding & my best cousin wedding

Last 20th Mac, I went to two wedding fuctions at a same time. Luckily both the place was not so far,and I get to managed my time. However I cant full enjoy the food because in hurry. Yet,tiring me.

Our first place is to go to my cousin wed's. Me,Mom and my lil sis. We are little bit late. So I can't see my grandma first-we all heading to the mouque for akad nikah ceremony. After my cousin akad nikah, in Sentul mosque, and of course after snap some nice shot with my lil bro handphone - I went to see my grandma-Opah. Everyone now is heading to the woman brides home to have some celebration and a lunch. Bit pity on Opah, she cant join us, because her old illness condition. When I enter the house, it was a small house -rented flat in mostly KL area. I see Opah sit calmly and lonely wacthing a tv.But I am sure the mind was not on the programmes she seem to watch, by looking her eyes, her old eyes has many stories to relief than her old aged.

She called my name..but with a long pause to make sure it was me. It is always like that, everytime I come, she will said...she will thought someone else came...before she knews it later its me. Her eyes is just flattened same with my chest. I gives her hand to sit. Because she stand when see me with shaking.

Nobody in home taking care her now.Everyone wants to join the wed's. But I can't let Opah alone here. So, I stood up a while and thinking I must wait here. Then others cousin came,and ask me to join to the woman bride. I said sorry, I think I must be here. I ate nasi lemak in front Opah and chat with her.

Then started mom and everyone came home. I was wonder why the bride did not come yet.
Well, Opah care my cousin since he's child more than my aunt. Its a bit groan.

Then, I am going to my friend wed's. It was so in a nick of time, when my friend already in their shot and I only get snapshot once.Because phone battery has weak.

Then I managed see my old friend when study in university.

Whatever...it was really tired day. And I am so happy. When its my time..mmmm...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Pantun Nasihat

Seminggu lepas,aku pulang ke rumah emak.Gara2 nak mentauliahkan adik aku yang baru lepas SPM.Result tak gempak tapi gamatnya kat mak.Risau adik aku tak makan sebab result bahasa inggeris D. Adik aku pun terlopong sedih. Aku nasihatkan dia semak semula moga2 dia boleh perjudikan result baru itu dengan kebarangkalian yang lebih baik. Yelah, D itu dah sempitkan jurang kursus yang boleh diambil,biarpun Sejarah,Sains dan Agamanya A-.

Niat nak jadi peguam,
Ambil jurusan law,
Tapi akhirnya tergamam,
Kerna result BI low.

Aku rasa semua ini ada hikmah.Dulu 6 tahun dulu berlaku perkara yang sama kat aku untuk subjek ekonomi dan sejarah, Tapi honestly aku tak tahu apa hikmahnya, Biarpun aku berkata ada,di awalan perenggan ini. Janji Tuhan sahaja yang Maha Mengetahui nasib kita di akhir nanti.

Cita cita nak jadi ahli arkeologi,
Ujian sejarah selalu gempak,
Bawa buku ekonomi lagi,
Tapi sayang semua tempelak.

Kalau dulu aku cemerlang,mak sahaja yang wish aku. Tak lupa kawan2,sahabat2 dan cikgu2 yang disanjungi umpama susu tin cap junjung. Lepas dapat SPM, ada suara jahat tempelak dari tepi. Ditanya adakah betul aku boleh belajar sampai Universiti,bolehker si dia sambung? Boleh ker.Nak ker dia.

Kalau Tuah lawan Jebat,
Tentu ada Sultan Melaka,
Kalau ada mulut jahat,
Sudah rezeki tak akan ke mana.

Setelah genap masa sedekad ku rasa,dah segulung ijazah aku gengam. Tanpa ada kegelisahan wang saku dari si jahat. Aku bertelungkus lumus,bersengkang mata buat kerja tambahan,part time kilang semata2 nak cari duit. Aku bukan lah mereka yang on handphone dan call "Mummy, nak duit,tak cukup" atau "Pa,bank in duit boleh tak". Aku malu nak bangga.

Ada bapak tapi menghilang,
Ada pengganti tapi melambai,
Janji hidup diri cemerlang,
Sampai mati diingat si lebai.

Tak sampai seminggu result SPM.Adik aku dapat hadiah hanphone N97 Mini. Dah dijanji pula laptop.Keputusan nak masuk U dah lupa. Tak cukup duit ditambah. Aduh, begini senang nasib anak sekarang,dibuai sampai ke atap. Apa kejadah pula ibu bapa sekarang melimpah anak dengan keseronokkan.Ingat lah susah sebelum senang.

Keluar di mulut bukan cemburu,
Dalam di hati nyata beringat,
Tiada ketulenan anak itu,
Bila dilimpahi emas dunia.

Walhal,tidak hairan lah. Anak anak sekarang ber dehem,berhentak,berdendam,dengan kasih sayangnya itu. Tidak hairanlah juga melimpah bapa2 tua di jalanan,ibu2 tua di pinggiran, dan anak2 muda di hiburan sana sini.

Sesungguhnya aku juga anak deheman itu. Cuma bukan pada yang salah. Mungkin benar kata guruku satu ketika, tak kemana tumpahnya kuah kalau tak ke nasi. Dan juga guruku yang lain, pernah berkata, anak2 pengikat ketebusan dosa2 keturunan nya itu.

Oleh itu, bersama2 lah kita insaf kan diri semoga jangan lah kelalaian kita dibalas bala ke atas manusia di sekeliling kita. Amin.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Walla....

I have a friend who use this word when something surprise him or need him to swear.
I don't know how was the sound on him voice, because we are chatting in net. Eventually, this was a muslim word, sounded like more 'Wall'ah' but when ever each time I got this 'Walla' from him. It makes like just walla!!...Or Holla....=), but I bet he means Wall'ah.

Walla....it's raining now...(hihi...i'm also use this word now..but not referring to sounded 'Wall'ah')

Does everyone has special word,term,or tagline in his or her every word? I believes it can be a trademark for someone remmebering you.

Like I have another friend during my unversity, one was always said..aha.....everytime in her opening or closing words.Hahaa...

Me too before, always said Good...for everything even for nothing. So, one of my friend really like this word on me. Hihi.

What about you guys?...Aha..

Friday, February 19, 2010

Love letter

Dear My Love,

There is never one day before I’m going to bed, without wishing to see u, and let my wild dream fascinating with you into one. My deepest love is lusting for your breath. My night is your dream. My heart and soul is for yours. And my love is a pure feeling to you. I had never been in this before, and you’re the one and the last. My hope is lies for you to come and bring me. My priority is hold onto your name.

My Dearest,

Foremost I ever wanted to be with together. Foremost I ever wish to hold your arms and hands forever. I can’t deny this love is everlasting for you. I want you to be my life partner, my eyes and my ears, as you are my deepest love to this journey of love life.
My said, was truthful, yet unforgettable, and nothing impossible. It is nothing unreachable, as I am weary, and you make me stronger. Will you stand by me, Hold onto my love and I never let you go?

I am blessed to fall in love with you, I am keen this love is my fated. You are beyond my future. May you and I will stay forever and happily ever after.

From whom he’s in love.
Love.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I love'you all

I will miss all my sight and routine there...
I will miss my friends and all thedepartment..
I am sure will miss you'all...Love you'all... Thanks for the farewell and gift. Unexpected gift from Human Resource Department too. Sad, I cant get chance meet all of them,I wish everyone good luck in future as they had wish me too. Humty Dumpty was forgetten me. =(

10.20pm-This is a last time of my working day I have been there. 17th February 2010.
Really I wish to hug all my thing-table and chair...I am gonna miss it all. For sure!!!

Before taking my last steped outside, I grab some quitely office picture,so it can remembered me how was my day,in earlier 7.00 am before and 7.00pm. The time whic I used to be there workin...workin..workin..

And for all the person.I seek forgiveness and sorry, If I had did some wrong.
Honest and frankly,I really really really enjoy meeting up you guys as team work and we did a good job done. We compromise better, We loughing and sharing altogether,we build our relationship day by day without realize it we are all seem a family.

As life must go on,life must be keep up and go a way, I thankful for everything moment we had.
And thanks for supporting me this journey of work.

And foremost, may we be forgiven each other. May we rise from success. I will start my new working place on 22nd February 2010. A new start journey....again...=)


And I will never quit...!!!!!!! Go SS!!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Stand by Me

I had a good time with him...He called me sugar...
I always make him angry...and smile to him...
He always 'mwah' me...and ask me.."Do I dream him yesterday night"?
I called him a gift from God. I really comfortable with him, to talk anything until bout period.
I swear if he can stand by me, nothing much more left for me to died for him to grant his love and everything. A song by Shane ward-Stand by me is my beautiful moment with him.

Nothing's impossible
Nothing's unreachable
When I am weary
You make me stronger
This love is beautiful
So unforgettable
I feel no winter cold
When we're together
When we're together
[chorus]
Will you stand by me
Hold on and never let me go
Will you stand by me
With you I know I belong
When the story gets told
When day turns into night
I look into your eyes
I see my future now
All the world and its wonder
This love wont fade away
And through the hardest days
I'll never question us
You are the reason
My only reason
Will you stand by me
Hold on and never let me go
Will you stand by me
With you I know I belong
When the story gets told
I am blessedTo find what
I needIn a world loosing hope
You're my only believe
You make things right
Everytime after time
Will you stand by me
Hold on and never let me go
Will you stand by me
With you I know I belong
When the story gets told
[repeat chorus]
Stand by me
No more darling
I want you by my side
I want you hear with me

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I had never knew what is Love is?


Dear,
I don't know you much,
But I do know- I miss you so much,
Got to be something right in my heart,
Because you are the reason...(Can't deny it)

You are the reason for me, not to forget,
And a reason for me to keep smile,
And for all what I believes I belong,
I think I had never knew what is Love is...

The first things feels best when we were together,
Never thought of it, if we are far away,
Can't take it much time longer to hold,
Maybe I never knew what is Love is...
What is feelin to fall in love with you...(What is love is..)
What is all about to love with me....(What is love is...)
Please God, keep me reach out this feelin,
I was wonder where is the love I do got to knew.

No...I wont said it anymore...
I had never knew what is all about us...
No...I wont said it anymore...
I had never knew what is Love is...

Created new songs by Me.
Hand Made by-TK

Monday, February 8, 2010

Y.E.T poem

Yesterday,
All my trouble seem far away,
Since my hope last for someone,
Its feel like walk alone and slowly.
When there is a wind blows my hair,
And I hug myself for cold.

Everyday,
A dream to have,A goal to accomplish,
An attempt to seek, A loves to desire,
I will never back off for one piece,
Thy never believes my time is over,
Though believes control my destiny.

Tonite,
A faith with open hand to God Almighty,
Never deny Him power,
Much screwed up on road passing,
I seek a magical and hope.
Gives me a loves and happiness.

Tommorrow,
There is still me myself,
Companionship my treasure,
Hunting my genetics,
Lower my head and talk like a king,
Humour like clown,
Hope never ends,
with faith to Him.

Forever,
TK.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Bukan apa.....

Bukan apa nak berkira sgt...tp penat lah ajar budak baru ni...ulat buku betul....
tak paham2..ok bukan apa..memanglar dalam 1 weeks...masa x cukup ...ngam2 kat kerongkong jer.....ala2...kalau silap tercekik ..buat silap lar...eh..penat no na habak....
Bukan apa nak berkata sangat pun juga...teman cuma nak kongsi. Mana boleh ditanya teman post teman sesuai budak degree ke tak...then assume kerja teman mcm remeh jer....dip dah lar....kang I takut dia minta gaji lebih2.
Bukan apa pun gaji lebih mcm hang bagi pun..kan bukan apa nak berkira pun gaji....
Bab teman, teman asalnya taklah berkira, tapi lepas tu, patut dah patut sgt dah teman berkira
Bukan apa pun, teman buat kerja teman 2 ,4 ,6 kali lebih baik dr teman2 dulu. Insyaallah teman tak menunjuk atau blagak apa pun, bukan apa..teman belajar merangkak sampai berdiri.
I should proud my self..and thanks syukur kat tuhan. Proud sbb diri sebab teman taklah merendah diri no, kill to hardwork man...!! Akan terus 2 berusaha.!!! Cari sampai Dapat maaa...
Bukan apa....semuanya dari Tuhan . Barangsiapa nak mengubah takdir usahalah sendiri..ni teman pegang sampai mati, Ingat Tuhan sampai mati. Sebab tu teman punyai semgt kerja luar biasa. Oleh sebab itu lah...bukan apa pun sgt, bila tiada menghargai teman, buat tepi sidai mop jer, teman marah, teman terkilan.

Ada pula cerita teman lakonkan itu, jadi satu negatif pada teman pula. Kononnya teman dapat offer lg tinggi dr tempat lain. Mungkin kot....eh eh...Tidak sebenarnya. Bukan apa...sama...aja.
No why not more...? Kiranya ada lah kawan teman jawab mcm ni..bila ingat teman dapat offer tinggi...why not more....why not.....mmm...not more why lah...bukan apa.

Teman nak boss yg suka teman, percaya teman mampu, yakin temannye keje, dan tak dikotak katikkan kerja bodoh2. Teman rasa inner self down betul kalau dapat mcm ini. Sebab jati diri teman ni -ewah jatilah konon.....bukan apa..means...perangai teman ni sikap....cara....way...
jangan dikongkong2 kerja autonomi nak buat, jangan disuruh2, jangan diacah2, jangan terlalu terlalu kawal monitor teman. teman rimas .....boleh outperform dibuatnyer...bukan apa banyak sgt jangannnyer...buruk lah pula...

Bukan apa....teman ni rasa mcm...tak dipentingkan sgt,just lalu2 jer, tiup2 udara jer kerjanya, bukan management tahu penat teman belajar sendiri, bila nak offer dah black and whte naik rm200...tiba2 ada melaun mana sakit hatikot, jadi rm100...so what..? tulis pangkah ngan pensel jer.....terasa teman...bg teman..if employer tu kalau betul2 nak employee yang dia nak remains tu...mesti dia nak sgt sgt lar...takkan nak berkira pun.....kalau betul dia hargai apa teman dah buat...ni semua kerja sampah teman dah tolong juga...huhu...bukan apa nak berkira..
lah je ni...tibe2....dah la lupakan..bukan apa

teman tekad ...teman tahu teman mampu pergi lebih jauh tak mahu duduk bawah org mcm ni sebab tu teman buat keputusan resign.

teman tak nak menyesal...sebab teman tahu teman lari dari org yg betul....as per above lar....its all depends actually for management nak naikkan kiter ke tak..

lgpun teman benci sekutu2, sekroni2.....seperasan2...bukan apa...

teman manusia lemah.....

maafkan teman Ya Allah....Teman nak ubah nasib teman lagi sekali dan berusah. Bantu Teman ..
Amin .

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Bossini Bossana

Aku cukup geram dgn Humty Dumty(Bossini)..Haiz...Tahu-tahu sambut besday aritu je baru, pastu pg2 dah call tanya kenapa aku tak start cari kerja yang dia nak.
Aku pun jawab..No...you forget sir, we finish discussing around 4.30pm..then we celebrates your birthday..and everyone back home..I do something else, KR also back....You forgot?
Hahaha...diam terus siot...Haha..
Sekarang ni minggu closing, tahu2 aku dia dah dapatkan new girl for post KR, as per expected dlm kanun undang2 UMNO aku-Untuk melayu naya orang, yang masuk parti depa juga. MCA.
Nak Cina jugak!!..Kalau bagus ....insyallah lah...tapi experience 1 and half year juga from MyEG Compani gaks. Huk huk...Bila lah melayu nak bangun asyik ditindas ni.
Takde kena pon mcm nak yg diecpectkan. What the hell ya . Fikir2 plak mcm mana plak Bossana aku nanti. Aku pun akan resign 17hb ni. Kali ini bawah MIC. Rela lagi nak bekerjasama dr MCA.
Tp aku benci betul hipothesis Humty Dumty kat boss future aku ni. Mcm sial jer....ingat dia tu bagus sgt ker...Mmm...ada lah bagus tuuu....but...**** ehhh....why so calculative I am??

One more nak story ni, si Teh cukup lah takut aku tak turun ilmu....kat new girl . Not .I am okay bab turun ilmu. Pasal aku memang anak melayu jati- orang melayu yang baik tak berprangsangka nak turunkan ilmu. Ni lah orang melayu kan. Tapi yang ko nak rush2 nape.
Kang pecah kpala budak tu. Gila tak pasal. Boleh ker dia nak follow up within 1 week. Before this KR handover dgn AJ pon 2 weeks. Tu pun 2 weeks yg bergigi 'patah'...lubang2.
Ni pulak nak 1 weeks. 2 post at same time. Wallahualam. Biarpun dia nyusahi basangi dia juga lahi.

Hello....when I come there...No one back me up.Okay. I stand by myself and study myself from a sample before and see how work is carry. And what the hell.....you nak takut2 new girl tak leh buat. As kalau dah percaya sgt hang punya bangsa tu boleh buat kerja.....make up mind...!! Lah.
I know where I standing out for. Tu yang panda IT tu stock stationery pun nak kena amikkan.

Hey woke up lah orang melayu. Jom bangun sama2, kita ni bukan lemah. Bukan untuk dipijak lepas dimerdekakan. Bukan untuk dimop2...buat sidaian jer tepi beranda..Bila perlu jer ada bangsa nak. Bila bodoh letak tepi...Aku merayu kat semua bangsa melayu, rajin2 lah kerja harta macam org Cina tapi jgn jadi mcm dorang yang jenis 'ortodoks' sgt. Bukan semua mcm tu.
Ni pengajaran supaya kita sama2 meningkat maju berdaya saing mcm saranan Pak Najib.

Tgk2 sama jer lah yg sokong 1 Malaysia ni Pak Najib.

Org melayu yang mcm sial tindas bangsa sendiri pun patot letak jer kat kandang tuu. Again, please. Dont look down on Malay.....and Malay jgn sennag sgt makan nasi lemak jer pagi2. Woke up for your bangsa. As per Tun nak.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Humty Dumty Birthday

Harini,pukul 4 kami sedepartment nak sambut besday HD. Nak sambut ker? Sebelum ni, keluh semua nak sambut,nak sponsor pun susah. Saya tidaklah kisah sgt,tapi bak kata Kajol, kalau nak sambut,after this baik sambut semuanya sekali. Betul juga..? Tapi....ayat 'Why you'all so calculative" .......mmmm....kena plak batang hidung sendiri.
Well,sebab sepakat ramai yang kata dont want,tak nak,and even I pun cakap xda duit. But, in depth much because someone kempen say NO. Mmmm...kesian lah.
Kesian kat kami ni semua. Why we all so calculative.? Why why why?.....Sometimes, bila saya nak tidur pun saya terfikir,why we hate much. But saya percaya semuanya hanya dimulut,sebab manusia tak sentiasa tunjjukkan apa yang dia taknak,rather apa yang dia nak. Like, maybe someone like to be seeing as calculative,but she wont show. And also someone yang silent,yes sir, or ok sir, actually memberontak hatinya. Like me?...Do I?
Well, cerita kek, nak beli untuk HD akhirnya disponsor oleh Teh. Saya percaya Teh buat begini, untuk merapatkan HD dgn kami.
Saya rasa malu nak makan kek itu,bila saya sendiri yang tak nak bayar, dan saya sendiri juga yang mengherdiknya dalam hati. Saya tak sangka saya sekejam mcm itu.
Honestly, I dont really like to be faked.I dont like, I am show it, but some considerable event, I dont. But mostly, tindakan sy sgt2 keterlaluan,apabila saya sgt dalam keadaan tidak terkawal.
Mungkin, gunung berapi sudah meletup.
Saya dan AP masuk lambat ke dewan Mawar itu, kami sampai selepas HD selesai ucapan terima kasihnya. Saya dimaklumkan dia berterima kasih oada kami,dan mereka yang hendak pergi meniggalkan ofis ni, 'I am sorry, I may not be a good boss'.
Saya tak nafikan,tapi dia manusia, saya juga dan juga rakan 2 yang lain. Jadi, saya bertanya pada diri saya. Apa yang perlu saya ubah satu perkara sebelum saya berhenti ialah, berhenti menjadi 'silent dan gembirakan semuanya selagi masih ada masa'.

Mungkin saya akan begitu juga. Saya sgt faham situasi ini. Percayalah.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sambungan Resignation

Seperti yg dijangka, Humty Dumty sudah memanggil saya untuk ke ofisnya pagi lagi. Saya pergi dengan hati 'suspens',mengakal apa yang boleh berlaku dgn langkah yg sgt perlahan. Saya bawa sekali report reconciliation untuk ditunjukkan-mungkin boleh 'point up' hal lain selain resignation saya.
Akal saya hanya bertahan beberapa minit sahaja. Report reconciliation itu juga 'kalah' dalam pertaruhan. Saya ditanya oleh Humty Dumty.(memang tidak boleh lari)

HD: What is this.? (Sambil tunjuk kat surat resign I). Are you resigning? Why?
TK: Yes. I get an offer.
HD: May I know what is considering you to left this job? What is a reason?
TK: I have a plan for my heading future. (Saya tak sure saya jawab macam mana,kelam kabut)
HD: I regret to let you go, you get better opportunity here,believes me,for me, it is better you to think twice. If me, I will. Believe me. Are you really going? Can anything will stop.
If you want more better paid, I will.I can reconsider. But you have to gain more responsibility. Would you? You are my concern.
TK: (I was actually blur this time. I am not hopefully to be in this situation.)
HD: May I know, what is your offer,how much they paid you,how was the company, industry, why and why.

Foremost,he keep condemn me and I know he will just ok and fine to sign the resignation letter just right out of W-question. This is only a a play. I know.

I can feel it. I can see it. I know the pyschologhy of person. I swear.

Maybe Teh, yes she did ask me to rethink and consider the offer, but no offer has been spell out yet. What the fuck to said lar. And I dont like to be positioned under them. Bloody fuck more on this.

I a taking a risk,in fact. I am proud I think I had make a such remarkable changes again on me and started new life.

After discussion, company wont let me go earlier. One month notice without my leave adjustment.

Then, what can I said more, he gives a more, more,more stupid work. For a me , not an IA.

Thats a problem.Aye isnt' fucking the ho.

Subhanallah,marah dan geram saya ni. Saya dah patutu bersyukur, sekurang nya saya masih berada dalam keadaan sihat dan bahagia. Ya Allah, kuat dan tabahkan hati hambamu ni.Amin.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Resignation

Tadi saya beri surat berhenti kerja pada Teh. Hari esok mungkin saya akan berhadapan dengan Humty Dumty. Saya tahu tindakan ini akan dipersoalkan, cuma berharap janganlah sampai ke akar umbi. Cukup sekadar,mereka tahu saya gembira di situ dan saya perlu alternatif kerja baru ini, sebagai pengukur kejayaan yang hendak dicipta.
Lagipun, perkara kecil sahaja saya ni, adalah juga Teh berkali2 suruh saya fikirkan semula tindakan ini,dan minta saya stay, she also offer me a GL position. If i needed so, money is a matter. I can deny.
But, I am actually didnt heading to more paid,its just same. What can I say that? Win-Win situation. Mmm, entahlah sayu juga hati saya ni hendak meninggalkan hotel itu.
My fren there,AP,said that I am a type of 'silent customer'...,saya tertanya, samakah ia dengan 'silent killer'...She added more, that my tender could be lead management think it's not fair.
Ini tidak adil!!...Apa...
Dakwaan Shareen itu sama sekali tidak tepat, saya mengaku kebarangkalian anggapan itu wujud mungkin ada. Tapi saya sudah juga diperlakukan tidak adil. Adakah saya salah untuk tidak mengadu kerja dengan timpalan gaji serta kelayakan saya kepada syarikat.? Tidak kah saya berlebihan dari mereka yang lagi lama bekerja disitu? Perlukah saya beri alasan-alasan tidak membangun saya semata2 hendak kenaikkan pangkat dan gaji.? Perlukah sepanduk diletakkan dan melaung...saya perlu lebih adil. Ini lah masalahnya, saya binggung.
Masanya tidak sesuai.Tempat nya juga tidak sesuai, begitu juga dengan kelompok orang untuk berbicara tentang ini. Susah saya hendak leraikan isi hati ni.
Saya ada maruah. Saya menjaga air muka saya, tidak akan saya minta kenaikan pangkat dan gaji jika saya rasa saya sudah cukup. Dan janganlah memberi saya setelah membeli saya.
Janganlah naikkan gaji saya semata-mata baru menyedari kesilapan syarikat.
Saya tidak mahu menjadi pinocchio. Saya rela menjadi pari-pari. Mencari tempat teduh sehingga saya berjumpa tempat saya yang sebenar.
Maafkan saya.

Hikmah Solat Dua Rakaat

Diriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW telah bersabda yang bermaksud" "Setelah Allah SWT selesai menciptakan Jibrail as dengan bentuk yang cantik, dan Allah menciptakan pula baginya 600 sayap yang panjang , sayap itu antara timur dan barat (ada pendapat lain menyatakan 124, 000 sayap). Setelah itu Jibrail as memandang dirinya sendiri dan berkata :" Wahai Tuhanku, adakah engkau menciptakan makhluk yang lebih baik daripada aku?." Lalu Allah berfirman yang bermaksud.. "Tidak.."Kemudian JIbrail as berdiri serta solat dua rakaat kerana syukur kepada Allah swt. dan tiap2 rakaat itu lamanya 20,000 tahun.Setelah selesai jibrail as solat, maka Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud.."Wahai Jibrail, kamu telah menyembah aku dengan ibadah yang bersungguh-sungguh, dan tidak ada seorang pun yang menyembah kepadaku seperti ibadat kamu, akan tetapi diakhir zaman nanti aka! n datang seorang nabi yang mulia yang paling aku cintai, namanya ''Muhammad." Dia mempunyai umat yang lemah dan sentiasa berdosa; sekiranya mereka itu mengerjakan solat dua rakaat yang hanya sebentar sahaja, dan mereka dalam keadaan lupa serta serba kurang, fikiran mereka melayang bermacam=macam dan dosa mereka pun besar juga. Maka demi kemuliaannKu dan ketinggianKu, sesungguhnya solat mereka itu aku lebih sukai dari solatmu itu. Kerana mereka mengerjakan solat atas perintahKu, sedangkan kamu mengerjakan solat bukan atas perintahKu."Kemudian Jibrail as berkata: "Ya Tuhanku, apakah yang Engkau hadiahkan kepada mereka sebagai imbalan ibadat mereka?"Lalu Allah berfirman yang bermaksud.."Ya Jibrail, akan Aku berikan syurga Ma''waa sebagai tempat tinggal... " Kemudian JIbrail as meminta izin keada Allah untuk melihat syura Ma''waa. Setelah Jibrail as mendapat izin dari Allah SWT maka pergilah Jibrail as dengan mengembangkan sayapnya dan terbang, setiap dia men! gembangkan dua sayapnya dia boleh menempuh jarak perjalana 3000 tahun, terbanglah malaikat jibrail as selama 300 tahun sehingga ia merasa letih dan lemah dan akhirnya dia turun singgah berteduh di bawah bayangan sebuah pohon dan dia sujud kepada Allah SWT lalu ia berkata dalam sujud:" Ya Tuhanku apakah sudah aku menempuh jarak perjalanan setengahnya, atau sepertiganya, atau seperempatnya?"Kemudian Allah swt berfirman yang bermaksud.."Wahai JIbrail, kalau kamu dapat terbang selama 3000 tahun dan meskipun aku memberikan kekuatan kepadamu seperti kekuatan yang engkau miliki, lalu kamu terbang seperti yang telah kamu lakukan, nescaya kamu tidak akan sampai kepada sepersepuluh dari beberapa perpuluhan yang telah kuberikan kepada umat Muhammad terhadap imbalan solat dua rakaat yang mereka kerjakan... .."

Ku petik dari laman sesawang-http://ms.shvoong.com/books/1744593-hikmah-solat-dua-rakaat/ sebagai ikhtibar pada kita manusia yang lemah......wallahualam...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Life and Loves

Life and Loves
They are sharing together,
For one to whom he or she is belong,
They are needs in each other,
To fill the heat and warm of a pure lust,
But who may concern to loves,
Fall once in his lives.
Yet never thy loves will ends,
Despite life will end,
Love is continuing its lives.
And foremost,
For a man, and a woman,
Loves is their life,
And children,
Lives for loves,
Life and Loves,
From where we are
And for what we died for.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Macam- macam

Harini bangun pukul 11 pagi.Kepala terasa pening sebelah.Mata pun sakit.

Penat memikirkan draft kerja semalam sampai lewat mlm depan komputer ni agaknya.
Fuhh....

Aku pasrah sebab aku dah tak dapat kerja .


Mana aku nak tuju sekarang.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Failed Medical Check-up

Not a MC again...Medical Check Up...brokes my heart.

10.14am - Tuesday-05-06-2010

I received a call from Citigroup HR people, apologized for not getting me hired in their 'family'. I was really speechless and listen with sad. With all things in my mind, I was not really consent with what they said, I was really feel unfair and jeopardized myself.
I know I am under medication with Hypertension, but is it really so bad to encountered for? I ask politely to Lina.
I am really guessing myself. Do I really bad with the Hypertension title. Which limit my future to hold? Which may regards as a 'bad luck'? Or anything name given for bad things.

I take deep breath and keep myself calm and pray for that whole day to 'Please Allah gives me a bravery to still hold the truth, You know what is Good for me in front of me, back., and side'

'Please..and please beyond me to off-limit this all kind'.

Is Medical Check up is really a good choice for the pre-employment act. In my case, I don't know. Maybe they wont think to insured the hypertension employer in future.

All this is sick for me.

Lina, I know she kind of trying telling me to the tip of the iceberg, and make me understand that the working condition may not welcoming a hypertension 140/80.

Or did I make wrong by giving a clause I am under medication.

However, I still gratefull I am lovely girl who really strong. (Do I?)
I just cry and sit on my Pray Mat - As I know He is judging me.
But, Really I hope I dont want this. Could it be any best offer and good after this.
And Citygroup just brokes my heart. I already in high aim with this company.
I didnt mad at anyone or anygroup even to any company or life.
Just I feel sad for me. I feel I make myself sucks for this. But I know I shouldnt said this.
So, I write.

With every hopes is just for mom. And this I am not ready to tell her yet.

I will having tomorrow interview with Sime Darby. I am a good Hypertension and cherish worker. I know.

Wish me luck. =(