Kau dihatiku

Aku suka dia. Bila dia ada,aku rasa semangat.Aku memang boleh agak aku boleh mudah sgt suka dgn dia dgn sekelip mata,or sedetik saat masa first meet.Sebab,dia miliki ciri2 yang aku suka dan selesa. Selesa ke?..ye..mungkin sementara, tapi mereka banyak kecilkan hatiku. Aku tak tahu kenapa ini dah kali ketiga aku suka orang yang berbintang sama. Aku sudah cukup gembira kalau dia sedar aku ada bersamanya,dan senyum dengan ku atau sekali-kala berborak atau bergosip.Aku nak sgt tahu pasal dia,banyak dan banyak untuk diselongkar.Aku sendiri mungkin terlebih bagi hints untuk kenali aku sendiri,Sekarang aku tiada muka.Aku kadang2 taknak cakap dgn dia,sebab buat sakit hati jer.Tapi satu hari tu, aku memang menunggu dia panggil aku. Namun aku sedar dirinya tak lentur dimiliki,dan aku tak layak baginya. Aku kini harap dia nampak kewujudan aku dan beri aku sedikit ruang dalam hatinya untuk hadir sebagai sahabat dan teman yang dipercayai. Aku sudi menerimanya seadanya.

I spotted Him....

It's not a matter I don't like him.
Its' just a story of 'shit'.
And to feel it I dream it everyday.
And to make it real, I woke up.
Cos I'm afraid of the 'feel'.
I remember where it started.
I reminds why its stopped.
I recall where I spotted.
I redo where I were.
I restless when I found.
I reckon it lasts.

My Boss said "I just tender my resignation"

Dear All,
Today I feel quiet unhappy and sad when my boss announced her resignation in front of us. She just back from briefing with the rest manager,and we all shocked to heard about it.She insisted to tell us by herself before we knew it from others.Such a sweet words and really touch with the sincerity. Honestly, I would like she stay with us, because so far within a months I was in the family, I feel happy to work. For the first time,I was really thankful because she had given to me an opportunity to work with her.And the believes she put on me, its really appreciated. I wanted to know more from her,and now she just wanna leave us. At first, i am really sad,even,I do not know her much and close,but I know she kind a good ones.
I got to know she got a better opportunity. Ya,she should go. But why I'm so sad. She just a boss, not my friend and we don't know each other. Well, I was just really missed the feels to be in the family.I was new there,and I feel 'there's' for me,now one person will not be around with us more.That's, the point. More,I also heard one of the chef also will going to resign tomorrow. What the hell is going on after that 'incident'.
Boss, I just wanna said, I'm really happy and quiet sad to end it like this. I hope you will be in a good situation in where ever step you make later.

I hate this feeling,a same goes feeling I feel when I want to away from my friend after finished study, and a same feeling I feel to lost someone I liked.Ya, it's me.

Muhasabah Diri Ku

Lima soalan pendek sahaja,namun sukar untuk ku huraikan dengan jawapan yang benar2 bermakna.Dahulu, masa aku masih mentah, lima soalan inilah yang menjadi tunjang asas kepada permulaaan kesedaran ku dlm mengukir matlamat untuk berjaya aku sendiri.Meskipun,mentah,aku masih boleh terus berpegang dan mengingati ikrarku itu,dan berkongsi bersama teman2 lain,sehinggakan mereka kagum dan berubah demi mencapai apa yang dihajati. Mereka berjaya.Aku tersenyum gembira.
Setiap kali,pulang sekolah ke rumah,waktu ku yang lapang tidak pernah disinggahi dengan muhasabah2 ini.Sehinggakan,ia menyemai dalam hidupku selepas itu.Seketika aku menunggu bas 'merah yang panjang' di hadapan kedai gunting rambut dan tepi jalan,pasti aku akan terkedu sendirian memikirkan ia.Selepas ku menjamah makanan,dan seketika ku masuk tidur.Aku selalu mencari-cari identiti aku sendiri yang tak jelas. Jiwaku tika itu sangat memberontak,nafsu mudaku yang merah selalu terlanjur,dan sehinggakan aku sudah jauh,jauh,jauh.

Siapa dirini sebenarnya. Aku tak kenal...mungkin mereka yang mendampingi ku juga lebih kenal akan diriku daripada aku sendiri.Kasihannya.Rutin hidupku semakin hilang murni dan indahnya, kurasakan seperti aku adalah manusia yang paling rugi.sebenarnya,bukanlah sukar hendak meramalkan ku tetapi sukar dijangka.kerana aku mudah dan senang,jiwaku menerima semuanya dan seadanya.tiada yang mustahil.aku cuma mudah menyayangi dan mudah membenci.mungkin ramai yang menyukai sifatk kerana humorku,dan juga mungkin ada yang tidak kerana sifat kasarku.aku hanyalah seorang manusia yg bercita-cita besar,namun seringkali tercicir dan tewas,dan aku sgt sgt memerlukan petunjuk dlm hidup ku kini kerana dari dulu sehingga kini aku masih belum puas dgn diriku.

MeNtOr 3 MacaM Best...

Aku menulis lagi.HuaaHuaa.Kali ni nak komen pasal Mentor 3, Wah, impressive, so far lar tgk ujibakat, tak tahu lagi contestantnyer. But the best things, is the mentor2nyer, semuanyer SUPERB lar. Aku terhibur dgn sesi Adibah Noor, well, tapi aku tak minat, yang datang2 tu, diorang mostly dgn konsep,"kami nak tunjukkan yang orang gemuk macam kami pon bleh nyanyi,". Hey, comeone thats shud be not a tagline for you all,and even for everyone in whatever your state condition.Ok.
Well, its a dream actually when u already go for it with your desired and intented so. So,as well, you or me,also myself,(pon gemuk juga),thats konsep its last ones lar. We shud be happy, we are great because we fulfill this beautiful world. Macam2 lagilar yang perlu komen macam untuk ujibakat protege Ajaiker,Awie ker and all. But the best part komen I nak put its I believes This Mentor could be the great one. Gempak and Mantop 'Tv3'. Well, sebenarnya, i tak follow sgt mentor2 sebelum ni time nabil, but starting when Fiq. Now, dunno what happen to him.
Mentor kali ni mesti SUPERB than before.
Poor yang fikir them bagus but can't get it. Woke up dear.But you all shud be give a big applouse la because of your determine and valiant. Yeah. Zazz...Layannnn

S2H menulis lagi

Well...since 3 weeks kat tempat kerja baru, so far, Im easily nak sesuaikan diri dgn environmentnya. Namun, banyak yang I masih belum mahir wiith the operasi sistem maklumat nya and some of their procedure between department. Al maklum lar newcomer in management line. Well, I am happy which I been located and situated,and I really really hope the best is, I can cope with the people. And, Insyallah is my right path. Well, I am afraid something goes wrong in between, like its easily for me to dislike someone, if theres is misunderstood or fighting in back. The most is person beside me. The one, could be.
Again..and again, I most likely to make a mistake, because, ya, I am a sort of careless. So, this is my weaknesses and I faced it as one of the treats. Well, I'm planning more and more now to be better in my time management, money management, and also mood management.Hehehe.. A lots, to be keep it up!!! Dear.
Well, now my place work, has a lot of work to be done and finish up, moreover, Im still cathcy with the following up doc.and also some person in-charge that need to seek explaination and learn from them. There all have a lot of experiences, and I really hope I can learn from them, and wish there is no conflict, so work can be done easily. Well, sometimes, I do think, they think me slow boomer ker,or not in a right place to compare with them who knows all than me.

When the feeling goes blues.

BIla feelin blues aku suka lepak kat Secret Recipes. Order Spaggetti Bolognaise and Iced Mocha Blended.

Well, bila tamat sudah pengajian tinggi ni, memang ada feeling sebest se'mantop'. Tarikh 15 hb Ogos 2008, tarikh keramat aku hadiahkan kepada mak yang terbaik. Well, biarpon angan2 tahi cicak aku, (hitam putih-tak nampakkan, kabur), tak menjadi sangat nak dapat anugerah pelajar cemerlang, or a dean stud, aku just tahu, my mom is the happiest. And I make a whole family happiest. And I make it my end (for a while). At last, I realized, my journey ,by right, is the best journey, which I met best people in my life for my bestest memory to share with them and everyone. Thanx to all my friends and lect. Love you guys...!!!

Gotta be somebody

This month I fall in loves with this song,another complishment from my favourate band-Nickelback. The songs spiritual me and the lyrics very senseful to me.

This time, I wonder what it feels like

To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of

But dreams just aren't enough

So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling

The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene

Straight off the silver screen

So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end

Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's Gotta Be Somebody for me like that

Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own

And everyone wants to know they're not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight

And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu

Me standing here with you

So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end

Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me like that

Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own

And everyone wants to know they're not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough

You never know,when it shows up, make sure you're holding on

Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

And everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me, oh

Nobody wants to do it all on their own

And everyone wants to know the night alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Rush Hour KL

Kalau Hong Kong movies tunjuk Rush Hour dia orang dlm bentuk filem kungfu, memang tak bleh nak lawan dgn Rush Hour KL-sebabnya,KungFu dgn Hour (Time) takda kena paut pun.Hehehe...
Aku nak kongsi, Rush Hour KL-yang pergi balik kerja KL-orang KL ni suka berebut naik bas, monorail,lrt,mrt, even tempat duduk pon nak berebut. Then, diaorang ni punyalar 'rush' gila2, langar kitalar,said sorry pun tak sempat. Muka,mostly,memang banyak yang 'muncung'.
I guess,lar, Org KL, ini memang stress, relaks lar beb, I tgk kita ni kalau pergi kerja, slowjer,jalan,
lembap mcm siput, siap nguap2, tahi mata pon ada lagi, but, time balik jer, macam berlari tak tahan ke tandas.
Well, we must 'cool',ok.Bukan nya your house nak runtuh,or anak u all lari ker, just be relax. Mostly, that's race lol. Lu pikirlah sendiri.
Well, aku tadi dari Bukit Bintang naik monorail,ke Hang Tuah,tukar Lrt Ampang Line, semuanya, jalan laju, aku lak tension. Hehehe...
I jalan bukanlah slow, but, relax.Then sampai stesen cheras, aku amik teksi, punyalah bapak bau gas,poning den. Aku suh pakcik tu, tutop jer lar aircond tu,kang mati aku lak dlm teksi. Sianlak aku kang. Pening tu sampai nak buat aku muntah, sampai naik lif pon,aku keluar ke wrong floor. Siap kena gelak dengan 3 bubudak gemuk yang selekeh,(hehehe),terpaksa control naik, tangga satu tingkat. Nasib baik tak buka pintu salah rumah,aku pon tgk semacam jer, rumah aku, tetiba ada langsir 'kiut'dalm bilik aku.Hahaha...
Aku pun terfikir,aku yang tak 'Rush2' pon salah umah lo. Hehehe...

Naluriku terdetik seketika

Setiap kali, aku lihat diriku yang kurang ini di dalam cermin, seringkali ku terdetik, siapakah aku di hati seseorang nanti. Aku terasa terlalu tidak sempurna untuk memenuhi hidup seseorang yang akan dikongsi bersama, satu hidup untuk berkongsi impian ataupun sebaliknya.

Aku tahu siapa diriku, dan aku sedar siapa aku sebenarnya, berwajahkan siapa, bersikap bagaimana, dan nokhtah-nokhtah hitam di hati ini. Sudah gelapkah ia? Mungkin aku sahaja yang melebih-lebihkan, walaupun tidak, sedikitpun menjadi hal, atau masalah besar, dalam menjalani hidup ini sebenarnya. Kerana di dalam kubur, aku mungkin lebih mengerikan, lebih teruk, dipukul palu, dengan mungkar dan nangkir.

Ya, aku pernah lupa tikar sembahyangku dulu, yang pernah ku basahi dengan air mata, tika saat ku fikirkan ku sudah tiada sesiapa di dunia ini. Aku lupa janji ku tiap kali sujudku sembah, tika pada saat ku susah dan tika aku dikelilingi mereka yang beriman. Aku dahagakan keseronokan yang ku jadikan tunjang nikmat hidup,yang mungkin mereka yang hampir dengan ku tidak tahu akannya. Sudah pastilah, siapa yang gila akan mengakuinya. Itulah aku yang dikesali.

Pun begitu, aku bersangat syukur atas segala nikmat y Dgia berikan, sahabat yang dikasihi,dan ditemui, ilmu keberkatan dari guru-guruku, dan juga makan pakai minum. Biarpun yang kemudian itu datangnya sedikit, malah ianya ada satu lagi, hati yang tenang dikurniakan. Tapi itu dulu, dan kini, aku sudah hilangkannya, Aku masih mencari-cari hati ku itu, di mana ia, kemana ia,mengapa ia,bagaimana ia berlalu sudah.

Tiap hari aku panjatkan doaku, Ya Allah, ampunkan lah dosa hamba mu yang kotor dan hina ini, bersihkan diriku sekerdil semulia hambamu yang beriman, sebelum aku mati dalam kegelapan,sebelumku redah lautan api dunia, Kau jauhkan aku dengan semuanya,takutkan aku dengan api neraka mu, tundukan aku dengan azanmu,kayakan aku dengan sahabat,ilmu dan wang, berkatkan kerja dan urusan ku,halalkan makan dan minum ku bagi perut dan tubuhku juga halal seadanya, dan cintakan aku dengan yang baik dan seadanya,

Amin.