I may be lie with this title heading-because I never having real 100% love to feel on and taste.
My first love (real passion) could be with my economic lecture-a smart and a sarcastic man. This love is past and I can define it just as a rarely happen. The most where I can't take off his eyes, his speech,his voices,his steps and he sights. Everything was heart beaten for me.Then I forgot when its gone when suddenly there is another girl spying him too with a love letters dump in on his table where whole the college has the rumours.
Others than this could be a monkey loves where i experience it as real.Means real boy. Real situation and not just me the player. But yet,I forgot them all and feel sorry.
Well,the most man come were not I expected.Murat.He comes in my lifes since I was in college and I dont know why I am so excel in cupid net love.Its started with chatting which I was totally beginner of this world.And I was so stupid,dump,hustle with it. He damn me after seing me,after I sent his my picture.I sent two.Once where I was now,and another was when I was 7,which I think the most chubby and cute I do most have instead my look now.And what happen, after almost 1 year,he damn me just like that.He did give me his picture,but i can't remmeber where is it.Once only that time,he sent me a letter and picture while I sent him a picture too. I guess I maybe sent to him back.All. Even the email inbox I replied to him back together. All the sweer loves and words.I was so naive about this chat loves was nothing actually.But he was my real teens loves tahts time and i did not know how come I take encounter in lifes. So,he did sent his forgivenes with a word said me as ugly and not for him.Sending also a song...of The reason by hoobastank. Its not fair.Because until now almost 4 years I still remembering him.and I dunt know why Im too loyal too him and naive of this love.And at this stage I still believe I am ugly and no man will like me. No man will come to me. No man will not dump me in later. The stage he left me is the bad stage where I was in first year in my university,where I did not turn up as good. Suddenly all drop.My study and lifes was so bad. Even friends too. So I was symphathy to myself where I cant find a ways. I was just wonder if he just a same guy who said lovely words to me.If he also a same gu y who probably a same desire guy I chat. Suddenly I was not myself after this incident.I was totally freaky of chat and dump in anyone I like. I make love and went far.I chat everything with guy and shows everything.Does he wants same.So he did dump me. I am stupid for him.and forever.Where are you murat.
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